In a hilarious moment, Senator John Kennedy (R-LA) made a series of jokes that nearly brought the entire Senate to tears. Expressing frustration over a 13-hour Senate delay due to a motion to commit Democrats used in a vain attempt to stop Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill, Kennedy mocked the DNC and pointed out the obvious flaws in their strategy.
For context, while the BBB was passed when Vice President JD Vance broke the tie in the Senate, before it was codified into law, Democrats were trying everything in their power to stop Trump’s bill. As part of this smear campaign, the DNC tried to spin the historic bill as an attempt to defund Medicare, which was easily disproven by eagle-eyed conservatives.
In any case, Kennedy began his remarks by saying, “I’m not blaming my Democratic colleagues, because we had to agree to it, but anybody with a with a brain above a single cell organism knows that a motion to commit has no chance of passing. So basically, we’ve been standing around for 13 hours. We might as well just been standing around sucking on our teeth.”
Continuing his hilarious speech, Kennedy said, “Mr. President, in this bill, $1 billion is set aside to be spent by September 30, 2027, to carry out the Defense Production Act. That’s it. That’s all there is. Now I’m not a big fan of government-directed industrialization.”
Explaining his position, the Louisiana Republican sarcastically said, “Government-directed industrialization is when government, in its superior instincts and infallible judgment, decides to pick winners and losers in the private sector.”
Still not done, he added, “This business… gets some money, but … you can’t have the money. I’m against that for two reasons. Number one, it’s immoral. It’s unfair to people who don’t get the money, the gift from the government. And number two, when government does it, when it picks winners and losers.”
Explaining his consistence, Kennedy stated, “Now I was against it in the prior administration, and just recently, in my committee, we had subcommittee, we had a hearing where the prior administration handed out $90 billion in the last 76 days of its administration in gifts and loans to entities in the private sector. And that raised fresh help. And now we’re about to do it again, a billion dollars.”
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Building on this point, the senator said, “. Now I have been told that the Secretary of Energy and the Secretary of the Interior are going to decide, in their unfettered discretion, who will receive this money in the private sector. And they are both good men. I know that both of those secretaries, I voted for them. They are total ballers. I love them to death.”
Concluding his remarks with a hilarious story, John Kennedy explained, “Now… I got a call from one of my supporters, Mr. President, and you know what he said to me? He said, Kennedy, for your own good, you need to pull down this amendment. You have to pull down this amendment. Kennedy, for your own good, you have to pull down this amendment. And you know what I told him, Mr. President? I said, ‘There are only two things I have to do in this world: be cool and die.’ And I’m not peeling down this amendment.”
Featured image from embedded video