Lee County Florida Sheriff Carmine Marceno has a reputation as a bad ass, but he also has a well-known and well deserved reputation for putting stupid criminals on blast on TikTok. Marceno loves roasting them, and the department has become well known nationwide for their no-nonsense stance on even petty crime, and their savage sense of humor. You simply don’t go to Lee County, Florida planning to commit a crime unless you are ready to be on Marceno’s TikTok. One stupid, face tattooed criminal not only shot himself in the baby maker, but went viral for the subsequent hilarious video. Check this out.
If you commit a crime Lee County, Florida you run the risk of not just being arrested, but of being roasted on social media too. That’s because the Lee County Sheriff’s Office is on TikTok and the sheriff, Carmine Marceno, really enjoys making videos.
The sheriff’s office’s latest video is getting some attention for jokes poking fun at a gun toting felon’s misfortune. Sheriff Marceno explains how the man was riding around on a scooter with a stolen gun in his waistband when it discharged and he shot himself in the junk.
— Rob Mattox (@RobMattox2) January 23, 2023
This story already sounds like a disaster. One look at the hapless criminal’s mug shot and you understand why. It only makes sense that he would be careless enough to not put the safety on with a loaded weapon inches from his fruit bowl. However, there’s a reason most criminals are criminals; they aren’t very smart!
Marceno explains, “A violent convicted felon roaming the streets of North Fort Myers on a scooter, with a stolen firearm in his waistband.”
“He tries to kick start that scooter and accidentally discharges that firearm and shoots his…”
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What happens next in the video can only be described as a montage of phallus-related puns. It is actually a scene lifted from an Austin Powers movie. It fits perfectly, unlike the loaded gun in his waistband.
When the scene concludes Marceno returns with a straight face, and more information about the alleged crime. The text overlay reads, “Alan Sawyer was charged with possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.”
Marceno adds, “He got immediate medical attention and off to the Marceno Motel where he belongs.”
Fort Myers is still rebuilding post-Ian, and Marceno has no patience for lawlessness in his county. The “Marceno Motel” is full of stupid crooks, and the fact that its well known that the Sheriff loves to make hilarious videos featuring his motel guests, one would think idiots like Alan Sawyer wouldn’t have the balls to ride around town on a scooter with a stolen piece so close to his piece. Come to think of it, he MAY not have the balls now. Of course, considering Sawyer was on a scooter like a child probably lends some insight into his likely level of intelligence. Keep shooting your dong off and running afoul of the law in Lee County and Sheriff Marceno will make sure you get to see a doctor and that you have a place to stay courtesy of the Sheriff’s office, while we all get treated to hilarious videos. The bottom line? Don’t cross that line in Carmine Marceno’s county or the world will laugh at you.
Featured image screen grab from embedded Tweet